For a long time I’ve felt like I was a shitty friend because I’m kinda introverted and don’t necessarily like going out much. A lot of times, after a long day at work or school, I just want to be at home and relax or take a nap. I do this a lot more often than most, I guess, but hey, that’s how I am and I enjoy it. No, going over to your house and “relaxing” over there is not the same thing to me. Please understand that.
School and clinic are stressful as fuck and doing two programs back to back is draining me physically and mentally. Going home and getting all dolled up to go out and party after working an 8 hour shift without getting paid and getting treated like I’m not a human being does not sound like a good time to me. Especially if I have to do it again the next day, or sit through a 5 hour physics class on a Saturday.
I know I’m a pain to actually willingly go out with people but I feel like if you know me, and can say that we’re friends, you should know that about me. For me to have ever willingly gone out to a disgusting, dirty club with you and have my ass rubbed on by some anonymous dude’s cock, I must love you a whole lot more than others. Please keep that in mind.
Maybe things will change when I have more time but just know that it takes a lot for me to hang out with people and if I have with you then I’ve given you more of my time than I give to most.
People say that being a radiation therapist is a depressing job because you form bonds with your patients from seeing them on a regular basis and eventually, they just stop showing up. They’ve either finished their treatment or passed away.
I feel like it’s depressing because as a therapist, you try your best to be as considerate and friendly to your patients as possible—you want to make them feel as comfortable as you can. You learn to treat people with the utmost sympathy and compassion and in return, they treat you the same.
And then you step out of the clinic or hospital setting and all that courtesy and generosity is gone. You keep that same mindset of being kind to others, though this time it’s not reciprocated.
On the way back from Gainesville after the most boring radiation therapy seminar of my life.
Her car was a crushed aluminum can.
And her legs—most likely severed at the knees.
She hadn’t gone into shock. Maybe it was the adrenaline.
And then it dawned on her.
The smoke, the flicker of an orange flame—the unmistakable smell of gasoline.
Her life would end burning to death in a smashed up ‘92 Toyota Tercel.
And as she felt the heat rising, she watched as people slowly drove around the wreckage, looking directly at her—pissed they’d be late for work that morning.
"She showed me her soul and even her demons were beautiful"
This was written by Whitney aka @robotsynthesis aka the face I used for reference in this portrait and oddly enough, the quote reminds me of her. I don’t know anything about her that I dislike or do not find interesting. She’s lovely and morbid and that’s my favorite combination. Her writing is haunting and I go through her archive every other day, reading things I know I have already read, just because it never fails to make me feel something. She’s one of my favorite people to ever roam this universe and though we barely speak, I think of her as someone my future has its fingers dug deep into and refuses to let go of, no matter how much she struggles and resists her fate as a permanent presence in my life (jk sort of).
She’s just someone I’m glad I know.
I am so fucking flattered by this *cries*. I would squeeze the life out of you if it didn’t mean I’d end up killing you. You’re so amazingly talented and beautiful and just, ugh. I wish we lived closer to each other so I could stop by your place with pizza and flowers and animal bones and we could just talk and watch scary movies or explore spooky abandoned buildings together. I miss you a lot and the fact that you took the time to make this incredible piece of art makes my heart fucking melt. You’re amazing and I love you and I hope you’ll always remember that. I’m gonna go weep in happiness now.
trapped in a rotting body on a dying planet in a mysterious dimension controlled by an unknown force